Parental Control
by Orange Sherbet
Summary: Sakura's parents can't stand their daughter's boyfriend, so they've taken matters into their own hands. Based off the show Parental Control.


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**Parental Control**

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Meet Mr. and Mrs. Haruno. Their daughter, Sakura, is dating Naruto Uzumaki, and they hate it.

"He's so uncultured!" Mrs. Haruno exclaimed. A video of Naruto stuffing _Romeo and Juliet _into the freezer popped up.

"I hate how he's _always _around," Mr. Haruno added. "And he eats everything in the house!"

The next scene was a picture of the same blond boy with his arm draped over a pink haired girl. She was laughing at something he just said as a ramen noodle dangled over his bottom lip.

"We're fed up with him!" Mrs. Haruno fumed. Her husband placed a consoling arm around her waist.

So now, they've decided to set Sakura up on two blind dates to try and get her to ditch Naruto. It's time to take some Parental Control.

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"So, what's your name son?" Mr. Haruno asked, staring at the boy seated in the interview chair across from him.

The boy smirked for no apparent reason. "Hn."

That was the twentyeth time Madara Uchiha had used that answer. The only thing stopping Mrs. Haruno from jumping across the room and strangling the dark haired teen were the coffee table, her husband, and the camera crew and forty-million viewers.

The directer sighed loudly. "NEXT!"

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"So, um, does your hair nartually do that chicken-butt thing?" Mrs. Haruno asked concernedly. After all, she couldn't have her daughter dating someone with hair issues.

Sasuke Uchiha's eye twitched. "It does _not _look like a chickens butt."

Mr. Haruno eyed the boy suspiciously. "Excuse me for asking, but aren't you Naruto's best friend?"

Sasuke gave him an apathetic stare. "Me and the dobe hang out."

Mrs. Haruno slammed a fist on the coffee table, effictively cracking the glass. "I like him!" She exclaimed wildly.

Mr. Haruno gulped. It was at these times he feared for his life.

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"Can you tell us some of your hobbies?"

"I make puppets."

Mrs. Haruno blinked at the redhead sitting across from her. "Come again?"

Sasori sighed, angry at being told to repeat himself. "I. Make. Puppets."

"If you were chosen for the date, would you make our daughter a puppet?" Mr. Haruno asked.

"No, because most of my puppets are made from corpses."

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"If Sakura asked you how she looked in a dress that made her look horrible, what would you tell her?"

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. "Hn?"

"Not another one!" Mrs. Haruno fretted.

The dark haired teen was standing in a second. "My foolish little brother was here?"

Mrs. Haruno looked up at him from behind her hands. "Your brother is Mandara?"

Itachi looked completely _pissed_. "_He_ was here too? How dare they!" And then he was out the door, and out of sight. Mr. and Mrs. Haruno watched from the window as he strutted away, scaring a couple innocent birds into flight.

"Why does our daughter always attract the creepy ones?"

"Must be genetic."

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"So, um, Deidara, what do you do in your free time?" Mt. Haruno asked, consuting his clipboard for the name of his wife's next victim.

The blond man grinned. "Blow shit up, un."

Mrs Haruno looked dazed. "That's nice, what kind of shampoo do you use?"

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"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a priest."

Mrs. Haruno brightened considerably. "Really? What Religion are you?"

"Jashanism." Said the silver haired man.

Mr. Haruno looked confused. "I don't think I've ever heard of that. What do you believe?"

"We sacrifice people and shit, you know, all the normal things fucks like you don't do. I'm sure your daughter's a good fuck, though." Hidan replied, grinning sadistically.

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"That's a very pretty shirt." Mrs Haruno complimented the pale boy.

Said smiled fakely. "Thank you, your shirt makes you look like a fat cow."

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"So Shikamaru, what are your ambitions in life?" Mr. Haruno grinned. At least this boy looked normal.

"Ambitions are such a drag." Shikamaru sighed.

"How so?" Mrs. Haruno inquired. She wasn't top police cheif for nothing.

The teen just looked at them, finally uttering something along the line of "Troublesome," and promptly falling asleep.

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"Awww! That's such a cute puppy!"

Kiba grinned wolfishly. "His name's Akamaru, and he loves pretty ladies such as yourself."

Mrs. Haruno squeled and blushed like a school girl, while Mr. Haruno glared at an innocent patch of wall.

Kiba frowned "But, uh, it looks like he's not to into your husband." He pointed to the Akamaru, who was now relieving himself over Mr. Haruno's good work shoes.

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Mrs. Haruno glanced at her clipboard, then back at the pupiless boy. "Hyuuga? As in Hyuuga Corporations?"

Neji Hyuuga smirked smugly. "Indeed. The very one."

Mr. Haruno scowled at the arrogent boy. "Back to the _point,_ Tsunade," He glowered at his wife. "What do you do in life?"

"I plan on taking over the company."

Mrs. Haruno looked confused. "But I thought the Hyuuga heiress was Hinata Hyuuga?"

Neji smiled like a rapist, "Not for long..." He trailed off ominously. He laughed lowly, and it crept up to a more malicious souding noise.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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"And you are?" Mrs. Haruno asked tiredly.

The energetic boy seemed undeturbed by her obvious disinterest. "The embodiment of youth!"

Mr. Haruno flipped a page in his pervy book. "That's nice,"

Rock Lee continued to rant. "Youth is wonderful! Don't be put down by your wrinkles and obvious weight gain! Remain youthful, and the youth shall remain in you! USE THE YOUTH!"

Mrs. Haruno growled, "I AM NOT FAT!"

_Poor boy, _Thought the director. _He never had a chance. _

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"Hello there, my name is Kabuto. It's a pleasure to meet you." The white haired man introduced himself. Mr. and Mrs. Haruno shared a look.

"And what, may I ask, do you do in your free time?" Mrs. Haruno asked, almost hopeful.

Kabuto smiled again. "I enjoy raping young boys, kicking puppies, stealing candy from babies, and pretending to be a super secret ninja when no ones watching. Just like my master, Orochimaru-sama."

Mr. Haruno blinked. "Isn't he a wanted criminal?"

Kabuto just smiled instead of answering, and asked "Has Sasuke Uchiha been here recently?"

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"Naruto?" Tsunade asked, completely dumbfounded. What was he doing here anyway?

The boy in question straightened his tie, causing Jiraiya to put down his book in shock. Naruto Uzumaki was wearing a _suit. _

"Yeah, it's me." The blond grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I came here to apologize for being so rude to you, but-" Naruto's expression hardened. "Sakura-chan loves me, and I love her. So when we graduate high school, I'm going to propose to here, because she's the one. I came here today to get your approvel, since Kakashi-sensei said that's what that did back in the old days." He rambled.

"Naruto," Tsunade starting, tears welling up behind her eyes. "Thank God Sakura found someone normal like you!" She exploded, engulfing the teen in a hug.

"I fan't beeth!" He cried, his voice muffled against Tsunade's chest. Jiraiya was busy jotting down ideas for his book.

The buxom woman finally released him. "Of course you have our approval! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"

Naruto skipped out of the interview room with a grin on his face. Once the door was fully shut behind him, he turned to the group of boys huddled in the hallway.

"Thanks for your help guys," He smiled sincerely.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever dobe, just give us the money."

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**The End**

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Or is it? O.o


End file.
